At the age of thirteen, Bethany Hamilton was attacked by a shark. The young surfer lost an arm. But this didn't stop Bethany. She worked every day to get back into shape, and used to surfing with one arm. It paid off. Bethany has won many awards for her amazing comeback. Not only did she continue surfing, but her story continues to inspire others.
Do you know a person like Bethany? Somebody who's had a major accident or event occur in their life, but continues to persevere? My friend Kylee is a perfect example. Kylee is a very skilled gymnast. Just recently, eight year old Kylee found out that she broke her foot. The injury happened right before competition season. Although she couldn't do her full routine, Kylee worked hard to stay in shape until her foot had healed.
People like Kylee and Bethany continue to influence people today. Both suffering from major pains in their lives, but still they continue to work hard at their goals. If you go through an obstacle at achieving your goal, use stories like these to motivate you to keep going.
"Bethany Hamilton - Shark Attack Survivor and Surfer - Oprah.com." Oprah Winfrey's Official Website - Live Your Best Life - Oprah.com. N.p., n.d. Web. 30 Oct. 2011. <http://www.oprah.com/spirit/Bethany-Hamilton-Shark-Attack-Survivor-and-Surfer>.
That was a really neat piece, I love how you took a piece of history, and applied it to your life. This was a great piece organizationally. This piece had decent word choice, but wasn't your best. There were some good words, but not too many. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteI really liked the message you were sending. I thought the story about Kylee I thought it was really inspiring to always try my hardest no matter how hard it hurts! I also thought your word choice was good.
ReplyDeleteI like how you related it to real life. Soul Surfer is an inspiring movie, and in this piece you inspire people to be like the main character. Great Job!
ReplyDeleteI love that movie! I like how you brought a personal experience into the passage, too. As for word choice, it was good that you rarely used the same word twice.Good job!
ReplyDeleteNice! I am still waiting to see that movie...I've read the book and I thought it was so inspiring as well. I really like how you brought in some connection with Kylee's experience too. Yes, you definitely achieved word choice. Great job!
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